a rotten day :(

it's kinda scary how quickly people can disappear from your life so quickly, i just want to share some feelings real quick... yesterday was a pretty rough day for me, today was a rough day too though, more rough then my "normal" rough days. my mom has been sooooo depressed lately, i hate to see here like this because i love her so much, we are so close and i never know what to do to cheer her up. but then i don't even want to cheer her up when she takes it out on me..which usually happens. then i spent the whole day at dreadful work with a huge sale going on, dumb customer's asking stupid stupid questions..oh boy it was just hectic, maybe i was just in a bad mood i dunno. well then i FINALLY got off work hoping my night would be better considering i was going to a halloween party..! when i walk through the door my family is screaming at each other, common what is this?? i just went straight to my room to get ready for the party, trying to ignore them...but then i started feeling awkward showing up late..and my family started bugging me like super bad and i got some really terrible news about a friend that had gotten in a severe car wreck and passed away, i was NO longer in the mood to party. i just wanted to cry, so i did. at this point i'm starting to feel bad for myself like everything is falling apart over the past couple of days and i'm just sad, sad sad sad. whitney called me and askead if i'd like to go to the candle lighting for the friend who had passed away, i wasn't feeling like partying anymore and my family was driving me mad so i decided sure why not...even though it's not something to exactly "cheer me up" but it was really really good for me to go to. i'm extremely glad i did because it made me realize...that when everything in my life feels like crap, there's always something twenty billion times worse going on with someone else's, and i just need to be thankful for everything i have. i didn't know lindsay very well at all. but i knew that she was always happy no matter the circumstances. lindsay would light up the room with her smile, you could see the light of christ in her miles away, she was just a perfect example of what i want to be.
when i came home to tell me mom how it was we talked for a bit about trials and blessings our family has been through alot lately, i'm not gunna lie. but at the end of our conversation my mom said "yeah i'll take the trials i have right now, than loosing a kid anyday." i am so sorry to the sandstrom family for the trials that they've recently had, but i also know it's a blessing because i know it will strengthen their family and bring them closer to the gospel. i'm so excited to see lindsay again.
after the candle lighting i felt much better, it was definately really sad but i didn't feel sorry for myself anymore and i could feel the spirit, i felt peaceful through the rest of the night.

baptism!

on saturday my favoritest brother finally got baptized by my dad! (teasing, i don't have favorites :D) anyways, it was such an awesome day for him, he still hasn't let that smile go and you can definately tell he is filled with the holy ghost. i lucked out on having to give a talk on baptism, i was so so nervous, i just read my talk. kinda embarassing, but that's the only way i know how to do it without breaking down. this is a picture of my cute family, look how happy everyone is?? :)

life.

so i haven't blogged lately, and nothing has been going on physically really but alot has been going on emotionally. my head has been jam packed full of just STUFF! first of all..my weekend was alright, i've had better that's for sure, i found out that there's a possibility that we may be moving to canada so that just freakin sucks. CANADA? like seriously who wants to live in canada? and then i've missed like tons of school this week so i'm getting really behind..and right before the end of the term...gahh not good, i can't believe the first term is almost over i would've guessed it was the 3rd term, or 2nd at least, this year is going by SO slow.
my little brother is getting baptized on saturday, i get to give a talk too..yippee :s i'm totally miserable and stressing tons over it. i know i shouldn't do it with a grudging heart but it's so hard i'm such a perfectionist i just want it to be perfect you know?
this week as just been a complete "off" week for me, first of all i'm like NEVER stressed, and that's all i've been this week. my emotions are all out of wack and i'm feeling kinda down... :s it'll go away soon though i hope.. oh well. i hope all is well with you, and i hope to hear from some of you :)