hope

ever feel like there is nothing left? like your ready to just give up? nothing is going to fix things, nothing is going to make things better? well i feel like alot of people who i am friends with or associated with in one way or another is feeling this way and hope is just one of those words used in my vocabulary often that makes me feel so much better. "Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness.Its absence—when this desire of our heart is delayed—can make “the heart sick." i know hope gets ME through the worst of times because theres... hope. for me hope doesn't run out. i'm so grateful for actually finding out the meaning/importance of hope when i did because i never knew how much i'd need it in my life and need to share the importance withothers. the other day i had a friend show me this small clip.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TbcyKQjwvYsometimes it does take more than medication, it takes hope. i looked hope up on wikipedia just because i was curious as to what the world defined it as, this is what i got. "Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. "then i was curious to see what the church would say. Hope is the confident expectation of and longing for the promised blessings of righteousness. The scriptures often speak of hope as anticipation of eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ isn't the second one so much better? ahh i love the gospel! and i love hope. i hope all of you out there that are struggling can have hope. :)

Gracie

all the prayers and all the sorrow and tears must not be what gracie needed, i'm so very grateful for this sweet baby gracie's story that has influenced me and taught me alot, (http://www.thegledhillfamily.blogspot.com) the poor gledhill family has many hearts to mourn with and they as well are in my prayers to feel comfort and happiness, even at the hardest times. i'm so very grateful for the plan of salvation and the opportunity this family has to see gracie again, familes are forever.

finally....

it's REALLY time for an update isn't it??? finally i get around to it.. hah well, i lost my camera, and blogs are simply just boring without the pictures right? right. but i guess we'll have to do without for a while cuz i feel left out without blogging! "everybody's doing it" ;) not a whole lot is new to be honest. still going to school, still working, and still just hanging out with friends and doing homework. :) dillon's birthday was a couple days ago and we partied for that, that was fun, we also went down to st george for a surprise party for grandpa over valentines day, and got to hang out with ALL the cousins, it was nice to see everyone :) i also went to temple square with my sweetie a couple days before so it worked out good. ALTHOUGH, all these fun events would be funner with pictures huh? :( i'll work on it. let me know how you all are doing, i love reading your blogs :)

halloween!!

eh, i didn't do like anything to celebrate halloween so that sucks, but me and the boys did carve pumpkins so that was fun :)

nobody likes pulling out the guts....

....and i mean nobody :]

CHAMPIONS!!!

the boys have been playing football for what seems like an eternity! i went to a couple of games this season but they always had to be saturday morning, my sleep-in day! so i did what i could ;) well anyways championships were on saturday for the both of them, garrett has been on the same team for 3 years now and has NEVER lost a game, undefeated! woo-hoo! Dillons team did exceptionally well considering their coach was a newbie, they took second place at champion ships, so that wasn't bad :) i'm so proud of my brothers! and am glad they have a fun hobbie. especially because they're both CHAMPIONS :)this is dillon and a few team mates with his metal on, his face is all dirty, haha isn't he a cutie?

and garrett :)

the kids :]

my mom and dad and 2 little brothers took a trip out to my oldest brother clays house a couple weekends ago. and i didn't get to go :( i never ever get to see clay and his little family because he lives in the middle of nowhere, but clay has two kids, kyler (7) and maddison (4) they're so adorable! and i miss them so much. well they took some pictures for me so i thought i'd put them up :)

this last one says "grandma quit taking pictures of me!" madi is so cute.

hopefully i get to see them soon, usually we have a family tradition of seeing kyler on his birthday (october 28) and then trick-or-treating and having them stay for grandma's birthday (november 1st) and going to lagoon for frightmares, but that didn't happen this year :( bummer. rumor has it that they're coming for thanksgiving! THANK goodnes ;)

a rotten day :(

it's kinda scary how quickly people can disappear from your life so quickly, i just want to share some feelings real quick... yesterday was a pretty rough day for me, today was a rough day too though, more rough then my "normal" rough days. my mom has been sooooo depressed lately, i hate to see here like this because i love her so much, we are so close and i never know what to do to cheer her up. but then i don't even want to cheer her up when she takes it out on me..which usually happens. then i spent the whole day at dreadful work with a huge sale going on, dumb customer's asking stupid stupid questions..oh boy it was just hectic, maybe i was just in a bad mood i dunno. well then i FINALLY got off work hoping my night would be better considering i was going to a halloween party..! when i walk through the door my family is screaming at each other, common what is this?? i just went straight to my room to get ready for the party, trying to ignore them...but then i started feeling awkward showing up late..and my family started bugging me like super bad and i got some really terrible news about a friend that had gotten in a severe car wreck and passed away, i was NO longer in the mood to party. i just wanted to cry, so i did. at this point i'm starting to feel bad for myself like everything is falling apart over the past couple of days and i'm just sad, sad sad sad. whitney called me and askead if i'd like to go to the candle lighting for the friend who had passed away, i wasn't feeling like partying anymore and my family was driving me mad so i decided sure why not...even though it's not something to exactly "cheer me up" but it was really really good for me to go to. i'm extremely glad i did because it made me realize...that when everything in my life feels like crap, there's always something twenty billion times worse going on with someone else's, and i just need to be thankful for everything i have. i didn't know lindsay very well at all. but i knew that she was always happy no matter the circumstances. lindsay would light up the room with her smile, you could see the light of christ in her miles away, she was just a perfect example of what i want to be.
when i came home to tell me mom how it was we talked for a bit about trials and blessings our family has been through alot lately, i'm not gunna lie. but at the end of our conversation my mom said "yeah i'll take the trials i have right now, than loosing a kid anyday." i am so sorry to the sandstrom family for the trials that they've recently had, but i also know it's a blessing because i know it will strengthen their family and bring them closer to the gospel. i'm so excited to see lindsay again.
after the candle lighting i felt much better, it was definately really sad but i didn't feel sorry for myself anymore and i could feel the spirit, i felt peaceful through the rest of the night.